A Matter of What the Butt Does

Notes from the Department of Usage

Friends Luca Schmit and Zoé Faber at our sister publication, Impossible Luxenburger, texted us for insight about the confusing similarity in the terms “butt-dial” and “booty call.”

“It’s so strange,” Luca wrote. “Because ‘dial’ and ‘call’ are essentially the same function. And then, well, a butt is a butt.”

“It’s like you guys in America are just messing with us now,” Zoé wrote.  

What added to the confusion was that the short story they were working on is a meet-cute in which, over the course of eight pages, a butt-dial evolves into a booty call.

Zoé was the translator assigned to the piece but consulted with Luca because she felt the tone of it relied on determining the correct term.

Debate led to Googling, which led to more debate. And finally, they pinpointed the nuance: one action is by the butt and the other is for the butt.  

They concluded that if luck is on your side, then sure, a butt-dial can become a booty call. But a booty call can never become a butt-dial. 

We confirmed their thinking and granted that yes, both could eventually lead to someone using a towel to sponge up bodily fluid as the dawn light breaks in the east. But a “call” is always more intentional than a “dial.” 

Also, “By the butt or for the butt” could serve as a decent motto for most behavior in modern America. 

The story, “The Butt Wants What It Wants,” will come out in the spring issue of Impossible Luxemburger.